My Jersey Boy's Birthday

I was going to write about the new Burger King Black Burger today.

I also wanted to tell you about a random meeting with some local women.

None of that is going to happen in this entry. I decided to share a bit of my crazy life instead.

I know, it's weird. It's just the way I am. Love me or hate me, either way I'm still me.

Today I am going to tell you about the love of my life and the horrible, no good, very bad gift giver that I am.

I try but I have never been a good gift giver. My husband is a wonderful gift giver! I love that! I can mention that I liked something, or even look just-a-tad too long at something in the store and a few days later it will appear. I have to be careful not to ask for something I don't really want ;)

It is very difficult to find a true gift for your spouse after you have been together for years.

I mean we share a bank account, so it's not like I can ever really surprise him.

I am always on the hunt for a new idea to show him my love.

If I am being totally blunt, my hubby gives me waaayyy better gifts that I do him. He gives me the one thing no one else can, time at home with my kids. He has encouraged and supported my desire to be the at-home-Momma for years and years. Even when I could have hurried to work as the kids grew, he let me find my own path.

I have worked ... some...off and on. I enjoyed it. It is just difficult to put my heart into a job and still have the energy and spirit to serve my family.

I admire the women, and men, who do it. You are stronger than I.

I want  need my own time. I like having the quiet house after the chaos of sending our brats to school. (It's okay to call them that when they are military kids. I am not criticizing, so no hate mail on that one. Feel free to hate mail me about the vast amount of other things I say that offend you.)

He has served his country since he was a just a teenager. Then, he went and married this high-maintenance Southern Belle. Poor guy. He must have had some inkling that I would be a little tough to handle when we were dating.

But, alas... He gave me that shiny ring.

He signed the papers.

He said "I do". And, he MEANT it.

When he said "for as long as I live", he really meant it. What a brilliantly refreshing concept. A man of his word.

I have put him through the ringer. I try not to... well, most days I try not to. Somedays I am not the best wife. Somedays I qualify for the 'she has gone and lost her mind club'. Then, on rare occasions he gets the idealistic girl he married. Poor, poor guy. He married a complicated chick.

So, as you can tell, my husband deserves a gift.

What do I get a man who provides selflessly to his wife, his kids, his friends and his country?

How can I tell him how much I adore his heart, his conversations and his time?

When I am perplexed, I look in that big ol' book of instructions. 

The Book says I am to love, submit and respect my husband. How do I do that in this situation?

I gave him plane tickets and kicked him out of Japan for a few weeks. 

Wait. What? 

My hubby is a total geography geek. He loves anything and everything that has to do with the study of human, military, and cultural geography. He is fascinated by people, their lands and their customs. He will research their religions and study their family structures. He gets into a zone when he starts to see the relationships between their geography and their traditions come together. 

Here is where we differ. 

I am... less fascinated.

I still really enjoy the learning side of other cultures. 

I just don't necessarily want to visit the entire world. I don't dream of seeing every battlefield, castle or church known to man. I'm good with some great 'tourist traps', a trip to the local grocery store and a stop at the McDonald's (Trust me, McDonald's is vastly different in every country. It's a great way to see the local flavor.)

But, I love my husband. I adore him, even when I want to bonk him upside the head with a balloon. I think he was made for me and I was created for him. 

How do I say thank you, or in this case 'Happy Birthday', to the man I have spent almost 2 decades loving? 

I had to find someway to speak his "love language", as the famous Dr. Chapman would say.

I gave him a trip to Vietnam with decorated Veterans and college students studying military history. He has two weeks to enjoy the wisdom of men who have been prisoners of war. He can soak up all the stories of Vietnam vets who are longing to share their memories, while they can still walk the battlefields they fought on almost 50 years ago. I encouraged, and then encouraged again, my hero to go. Now this trip may not sound like a good gift to you. But, it's not about you. It's about what makes HIM happy. So, off he went to explore and learn.

Then, I did something radical. I went on with life as usual... never-ending homework, way too many soccer practices and the constant line of dishes that mysteriously fill my sink. I fix whatever issues come up, take kids to the various appointments the need and plan a few gatherings in my spare time. I live. I don't hold it over his head that he is 'on vacation' while I am not. That would ruin the gift. 

I am not telling you this story to brag on myself. 

Trust me, I do wrong every day. 

I didn't even come up with the trip. I just heard him talk about it and saw a chance to give him something he would never give himself. 

I am sharing this with you to encourage you to love on YOUR spouse today. 

Come on, we can all think of one or two things that would make our spouse's day better. 

Does he need his clothes taken to the cleaners? His car washed? A love letter left in his dresser drawer?

Did you tell him how much you respect his opinion? Or how much you like it when he holds your hand?

I know marriage is under attack these days. It is hard to be married. Still, it is oh so worth it.

Are you giving your best effort?

Change it up.

Shock him - just enough to make him think, "Umm, now that's the girl I fell in love with!"

Isn't that good for both of you? 

Isn't that effort all you really want from him every once in awhile?

So, dust off your thinking caps Ladies. Start a new 'note' on your iPhone or bring out that list you always carry around. What are some ways you can make him feel loved today? 

A massage? 

A surprise date night? 

Tickets to the game for him and a buddy? 

A round of golf for him and his dad?

I can't wait to hear what cool ideas you come up with. 

So, off you go. Find a little bit of  love and cheer to pass on to that hunk you married. 

Let me go find that John Legend "All of Me" song and get this house cleaned up before my man gets home. He has been away too long. ;)

I promise next blog I will actually talk about Japan ... maybe 

Love to you,

~Aggie Amy