The Farewell Tour

I have a problem.

A serious problem with time. There is never enough of it.

We are less than 10 days out.  In just days, we will be in Japan.

That sounded like such a long time when I was a kid. Now, that I am older wiser, I realize that the clock is ticking and we are almost in the Pacific.

Every time we are about to move I find myself telling people, "We have to get together before I move."

Inevitably, I get to the last week- crunch time- and realize I never saw those people.

Thus the tradition of the "Farewell Tour" started.

My mission is to set aside the time to tell people what they have meant to me. I want to touch their heart and remind them that they have made a positive difference in my life. I try to start early, but time has a way of slipping away from me.

I want to finish strong.

I start by asking myself, "who makes me smile here at Fort Hood?"

Those are the people I put on my list. It's a l.o.n.g list.

On my "Farewell Tour" are women and men, young and old, related to me by blood and related to me by choice. I will tell each person at least one thing they have done or said that made my life better.

Where shall I start?

There is the sweet friend who told me all about our wonderful town of Belton. She even picked up the keys for our house from the builder and sent me pictures of our new home. This woman has been strong when I wasn't and reminded me that the rough times will pass. Our husbands were deployed at the same time. We understood the frustration of a marriage and family, on "pause, while our men fought a war. We survived together. Just hearing her name makes me smile. She is THAT wonderful.

I long to tell our Sunday school teachers that they have meant a ton to me. Our church has a military sunday school. It is brilliant. Truly, brilliant. We all speak the same language and understand the lifestyle. That group is ran by two retired military couples. They not only lead the lessons each week, they give everyone their ears and their hearts. They let us vent when it is bad. They cheer with us when it is good. They have seen dozens, and dozens, of families go through deployments and moves. I need to thank them for their kind words and warm hugs.

I can't forget the friend that, in the middle of a tough patch, called to ask, "How can I serve you this week?". When was the last time someone offered to SERVE you? Her caring heart knew I was struggling and poured out in love. A sweet note, a prayer or the gift of lunch when the world is spinning around us... Her kindness will be remembered.

Then, there is the fabulous group of neighbors that surround us- literally. These people are the salt of the earth and have done so much for my family. From inviting us to swim, to having that missing ingredient when I needed it. They have watched my kids, or picked them up when they were sick at school. They show up on the porch with dinner, just for fun. They stock my fridge with Blue. Bell. My neighbors are the greatest. ever. (And they don't even know I have a blog, so they won't read this.)

Maybe I should begin with the commanders' wives who valued my opinion and appreciated my help. Wow, a great commander's wife can make ALL the difference in the world. There are some really awesome wives in the military. They give of their time, their talents and they share the wisdom of their years with the younger wives. Army wives are strong and loud, funny and giving, opinionated and smart... I adore them!

Then, add my in-laws to that list.  Seriously, my poor in-laws. They are pretty quiet people who value order. Sadly, our house is full of noise, energy and chaos. They have had to get used to us. They probably thought this Southern Gal had lost her marbles when she wanted four kids. But, they adjusted. They play board games with the kids for hours and answer all the "why" questions. They read with them and do homework. They are there to help, listen and teach. I love that.

There's my brothers on that list. They came when my husband was deployed, at Christmas, and put up a trampoline and a swing set in the freezing, pouring down rain! They showed their support in sweat and suffering. And, they never complained. They sent my soldier emails and packages to show their love. Those boys, and their wives, are pretty great. But, trust me, all their stories about me are total lies!

I have to say thanks to my folks for the numerous trips they have made over the years... by car, plane and even boat, to spend time with my kiddos. Thanks for fact having kid snacks when we visit, or taking trips to Target to "fill up the basket with fun". There are more Wii/ xbox games at my parents house than anywhere else on earth. Seriously.  Bubbie takes the earliest riser to Starbucks for hot chocolate every morning. They all try to get up first so they can go.  Grandy lets them win at Uno.   My kids have laughed for hours as my folks told all the totally TRUE exaggerated stories of my childhood.  Yes, I do deny the drama of my teen years. No, it doesn't make the stories any less hilarious. The kids will remember their generosity and time. How do I begin to say thank you for their love?

All too often we forget to tell people how much they mean to us. We think we will see them again, or that they know how much we care about them. We assume that there will always be more time, another chance to say the words that they long to hear. What is it going to take for you to tell people how you feel?

Have you told your kids' teacher how great they are?  You trust them with your greatest treasure, every day. Shouldn't they get a "way to go" from you every now and again?

Or the hairdresser you adore, does she know that? That you return not only for great hair, but to hear about her kids and spill your guts to her?

What about your kids? Do you stop, when they least expected it, to whisper to them how much they make you whole? Or that you are proud of them?

What about that crazy brother of yours? The one you only see- at most twice a year- does he know that you pray for him? That your childhood would not have been as great, or as goofy, without him?

Or the friend who always has just the right thing to say to you, does she know you think she rocks?  

The toughest one... is have you told your spouse? I am saying this one with a guilty look on my face. I have to step up in this department for sure. 

So, here comes the farewell tour.

Here's to 'goodbyes' and 'see you laters'.

I will say thank you to all those who have helped make our time spent in Texas wonderful.

I am determined to spread love.

I will hug and smile.

Then, I will be strong enough to shut the suitcase and get on that plane.

Keep the faith. Tell your love.

 ~ Aggie Amy

High Ho, High Ho, It's Overseas we go....

Mt. Fuji

In case you didn't hear the latest, this Crew is headed for Japan! Camp Zama to be exact. It's right outside of Tokyo to the west. See?

When we found out I was a tad shocked. (see my post on that here.)

We have had a few days to let it soak in. This Momma has wrapped her head around the LONG distance between her Texas Aggie Football games and Tokyo, Japan. She has realized that she can store all of her 'must haves'. She has made her lists of pros and cons.

Honestly, we have wanted, for several years, to return overseas. Hubby was stationed in Germany a few years, and a few kids, ago. It was amazing! The Army family is incredibly strong overseas because you rely on each other much more in than in the States.

Here, you are more likely to run to the big box store yourself instead of asking the newest neighbor to borrow some sugar. Overseas, you camp out when that moving truck arrives to 'scope out' the new arrivals. The kids race over on their various wheeled items (bikes, scooter, even big wheels) to see if the 'newbies' have little 'Brats'.

Overseas, you become a stronger family unit. You have to. I been, literally, you have to.

It's up to you, and your little family, to find your way in a new country that does not speak English. The road signs, oh yeah, they aren't in English either. And, keep that $5 bill in your pocket, because you have to pay in Euros. or Marks. or Yen.

You have to order in a restaurant where "I'll take the #1- hold the pickles- and a large sweet tea" is NOT going to work. There cashier may not say, "My pleasure!" when you ask for your 3rd refill. The food is... different. It's not bad. A ton of it is great. But, it is very different. Get over it. Learn from it. You can always eat from a vending machine, right?

Japan is famous for their vast amounts, and variety, of vending machines.

During the holidays you watch out for each other with a shared knowledge of lonely times that are a bit overwhelming when Grandma and Grandpa call to say "Merry Christmas". With another Thanksgiving at the Mess Hall, you search for the soldiers or families without anyone and invite them to your table. You can scoot over a little more and fit more in, so that they too can have a smile from 'home'.

When you go to Disney Paris, there are -wait for it- FRENCH people wanting to see Mickey! They may be pushier than you think is approximate. They will cut in line. They will speak their native tongue, and expect you to at least try to understand. They may, or may not, wear deodarant. Still, you will see Mickey, and ride rides, and eat way too much. During the visit, it will occur to you that even those moody French will giggle at Daffy Duck. You will spend more money than you really want to. You will laugh, loudly. You will smile and take pictures. You will talk about the trip for years.

THAT is the joy of traveling. That is the privilege of being a mobile, military family. When your child discovers that little girls all over the globe want to be a princess. Little girls who don't look like her, talk like her, think like her or- even- smell like her, want to grow up and dance at the Ball.

While on a 'quick trip' to Poland your son sees kids. younger than him, washing windshields at a stop light so they can eat a meal that day. Reality hits hard when it is seen first hand. At 8, he can tell that his life is infinitely easier than those children in poverty. They make look like him, but their circumstances are teaching him far more than a 'quick trip' to Walmart to get some milk.

What will our newest overseas adventure bring us?

Stress, and worry. Some.

New friends and stories to share. You bet.

A blog or two. You know it!

But, what we are praying for most, is that being overseas will allow us to share our faith with someone who may not otherwise hear it. We long to tell people about the love that makes us whole. We look forward to helping with VBS and learning to connect with young ones without spoken words.

We long for the memories that only living overseas can bring to our four kids.

They will share struggles that only the four of them will ever know.

 They will learn tidbits that only other Brats will understand.

They will rejoice in the silly pleasures of life.


Like when something as simple as finding Blue Bell ice cream in the commissary, after not having it for years, makes my usually quiet teenager yell, "Mom, I found H-O-M-E right here on Aisle 5!"

For years, they will tease each other about crazy Japanese vending machines, seeing the Cherry Blossoms all over Camp Zama or learning to drive on the 'wrong' side of the road.

Will they miss playing American sports, or ordering in their native language?

Will they long to run through Grandy & Bubbie's door and straight into their arms?

Will they shed a tear, or two, over the friends, cousins, life they are leaving behind in the States?

Yes. Yes, and oh my, YES!

But, when Uncle Same says "Go", you go.

When this Southern girl said "I do" to her Knight in Shiny uniform,  she promised, "I will GO with you where ever the Army sends you."

When God put the peace in our hearts that Japan really was what we should put on that preference sheet, we knew what that would mean.

The bags are getting packed. The house is sold. The stuff is headed to storage and the plane tickets are bought.

We are moving to Japan.

And, watch out. We. Are. Ready!

Keep the Faith. Pack the Bags.

~Aggie Amy

The kids will not miss the annual bluebonnet pictures!

We are moving WHERE???

My handsome hubby called a few days ago with an announcement.

He got PCS orders! For those of you not associated with the military world, PCS means "Permanent Change of Station".

In other words, we are MOVING!

Moving is a part of our life I have come to expect. I long ago accepted it. I actually enjoy it.

Truly.

But, for the last decade or so we have moved all around the continental US. I didn't have to cross borders to other countries, or learn new languages. I have been able to keep my cell phone, move the cable and live in comfy 'American' homes.

That is over.

Our new home will be over 5,000 miles away, on an island, where they drive on the opposite side of the road and speak another language.

OK, breathe, I tell myself. I sit up and ask where we are going.

"We are headed to Japan," he said through a huge smile.

"JAPAN?" ....wait, did I hear him correctly?

He can hardly believe he is saying it, "We got #2 on our list of new duty stations and we are headed to Camp Zama, Japan!"

I freak out a bit. No matter where the place is. I  have to wrap my head around it.

I am not always the best at hearing big news. We have a rule in our family, after many years of huge announcements from said Soldier.

The rule is: I have 24 hours to behave however I want after hearing news.

24 hours to scream excitedly, 24 hours to cry quietly, 24 hours to adjust to how we will break the news to the kids, 24 hours to absorb whatever he is telling me.

In those 24 hours he cannot judge how I am feeling or tell me any more 'news'. He just has to let me be. I maintain normal for the kids during that time, but in private I am working through whatever I need to work through.

This may sound outrageous to some. I'm okay with that. Most military wives get this rule. You see, Army wives hear news like, 'Honey, surprise I'm deploying in three weeks' or ' I will be gone for a year instead of the 6 months we were told'.

This rule also applies to our personal lives. When we were told that our 'adoption had fallen through' or that our son 'seems to have Downs syndrome', I also took 24 hours of time before I was ready to discuss anything. (In the end, our adoption went through and our son did not have Downs Syndrome.)

In those 24 hours I usually take several long bubble baths and drink several glasses of sweet tea. Sometimes, at the same time. In that 24 hours I get on my knees, literally, and talk to Jesus for what seems like ever. I make a list of pros and cons. Then I wad it up and make another list.  I call my mom and dad. I call my dearest friend, another Army wife. She just lets me run my mouth for a few minutes before she asks, "are you still in your 24 hours?"

Then, after my time is over, I am ready.

I am ready to go gung-ho forward with all my might. And, a Southern Belle Army wife has a ton of might :)

There are no more tears, no more worries about the what-ifs. In that 24 hours I have found my peace. I have embraced another move, another set of friends, more schools, another doctor, a new hairdresser, finding a dentist, learning the geography... and all the other things that come with a move.

I have chosen to find the positives of my beloved husband's career. We sit down and talk about how we want to tell the kids, after I have researched the next home a bit to find out some pros we can tell them. We call a 'family meeting' and tell them the news. This has been harder as they got older. Harder as middle school has turned into high school. Harder as their friends have become more important to them. Harder as they have connected on a deeper level, with our wonderful church.

We allow the kids to be excited, nervous, upset or worried. We let them have time as well. They know Mom gets her time, they just have never been old enough to know what that means.

When the kids hear we are moving to Japan, 3 of the 4 are thrilled! They can barely believe it! They run to the globe to find our new home. They ask about the post, the school, the local chapel and what the food will be like. They want to know if we can take the dog (yes, or we would not be going!). They look up videos about Japan and want to tell their classes the next day at school.

Then, I look over at the one who is not happy. Not happy that the sports team he is so excited about will be playing without him next season. Not happy that he has to be the "new kid, again. Not happy that his world is getting flipped upside down and there is not a thing he can do about it.

I take him in the other room and stroke his hair as I tell him the same thing we have told him for years. "God doesn't make mistakes. God, alone, had the power to make you in Mom's tummy. He formed you from nothing. He made you the strong, talented son that you are today. He put you in an Army family. He did that on purpose. He knew you were tougher than most kids. He knew you could handle the pressure, the change and the challenges that come with being a Brat. God doesn't make mistakes. You can do this. We will help you. He will help you."

Then, I bring him a glass of sweet tea and whisper in his ear, "Sweetheart, give it 24 hours."

                                                              It works. Every.single. time.

Keep The Faith. Share the Love.

~Aggie Amy