My handsome hubby called a few days ago with an announcement.
He got PCS orders! For those of you not associated with the military world, PCS means "Permanent Change of Station".
In other words, we are MOVING!
Moving is a part of our life I have come to expect. I long ago accepted it. I actually enjoy it.
Truly.
But, for the last decade or so we have moved all around the continental US. I didn't have to cross borders to other countries, or learn new languages. I have been able to keep my cell phone, move the cable and live in comfy 'American' homes.
That is over.
Our new home will be over 5,000 miles away, on an island, where they drive on the opposite side of the road and speak another language.
OK, breathe, I tell myself. I sit up and ask where we are going.
"We are headed to Japan," he said through a huge smile.
"JAPAN?" ....wait, did I hear him correctly?
He can hardly believe he is saying it, "We got #2 on our list of new duty stations and we are headed to Camp Zama, Japan!"
I freak out a bit. No matter where the place is. I have to wrap my head around it.
I am not always the best at hearing big news. We have a rule in our family, after many years of huge announcements from said Soldier.
The rule is: I have 24 hours to behave however I want after hearing news.
24 hours to scream excitedly, 24 hours to cry quietly, 24 hours to adjust to how we will break the news to the kids, 24 hours to absorb whatever he is telling me.
In those 24 hours he cannot judge how I am feeling or tell me any more 'news'. He just has to let me be. I maintain normal for the kids during that time, but in private I am working through whatever I need to work through.
This may sound outrageous to some. I'm okay with that. Most military wives get this rule. You see, Army wives hear news like, 'Honey, surprise I'm deploying in three weeks' or ' I will be gone for a year instead of the 6 months we were told'.
This rule also applies to our personal lives. When we were told that our 'adoption had fallen through' or that our son 'seems to have Downs syndrome', I also took 24 hours of time before I was ready to discuss anything. (In the end, our adoption went through and our son did not have Downs Syndrome.)
In those 24 hours I usually take several long bubble baths and drink several glasses of sweet tea. Sometimes, at the same time. In that 24 hours I get on my knees, literally, and talk to Jesus for what seems like ever. I make a list of pros and cons. Then I wad it up and make another list. I call my mom and dad. I call my dearest friend, another Army wife. She just lets me run my mouth for a few minutes before she asks, "are you still in your 24 hours?"
Then, after my time is over, I am ready.
I am ready to go gung-ho forward with all my might. And, a Southern Belle Army wife has a ton of might :)
There are no more tears, no more worries about the what-ifs. In that 24 hours I have found my peace. I have embraced another move, another set of friends, more schools, another doctor, a new hairdresser, finding a dentist, learning the geography... and all the other things that come with a move.
I have chosen to find the positives of my beloved husband's career. We sit down and talk about how we want to tell the kids, after I have researched the next home a bit to find out some pros we can tell them. We call a 'family meeting' and tell them the news. This has been harder as they got older. Harder as middle school has turned into high school. Harder as their friends have become more important to them. Harder as they have connected on a deeper level, with our wonderful church.
We allow the kids to be excited, nervous, upset or worried. We let them have time as well. They know Mom gets her time, they just have never been old enough to know what that means.
When the kids hear we are moving to Japan, 3 of the 4 are thrilled! They can barely believe it! They run to the globe to find our new home. They ask about the post, the school, the local chapel and what the food will be like. They want to know if we can take the dog (yes, or we would not be going!). They look up videos about Japan and want to tell their classes the next day at school.
Then, I look over at the one who is not happy. Not happy that the sports team he is so excited about will be playing without him next season. Not happy that he has to be the "new kid, again. Not happy that his world is getting flipped upside down and there is not a thing he can do about it.
I take him in the other room and stroke his hair as I tell him the same thing we have told him for years. "God doesn't make mistakes. God, alone, had the power to make you in Mom's tummy. He formed you from nothing. He made you the strong, talented son that you are today. He put you in an Army family. He did that on purpose. He knew you were tougher than most kids. He knew you could handle the pressure, the change and the challenges that come with being a Brat. God doesn't make mistakes. You can do this. We will help you. He will help you."
Then, I bring him a glass of sweet tea and whisper in his ear, "Sweetheart, give it 24 hours."
It works. Every.single. time.
Keep The Faith. Share the Love.
~Aggie Amy
